My uterus is an asshole.
And lest you think I’m being unfair, let me be clear: my placenta is an asshole, too. I don’t discriminate; I’m an equal opportunity hater. You see, there comes a time in every woman’s life where she has to sit down and evaluate how she feels about her reproductive organs. And even though my husband’s sperm finding my egg was the easiest game of bocce we ever played, I have come to one unfortunate conclusion: they’re all jerks, the lot of them.
Last week, my husband interviewed for a job that he was actually excited about and ended up being hired on the spot and told to start the following Monday.